And no, I'm not referring to my marbles.
I lost those years ago.
So here's the background.
For the past year I have been feeling lethargic, tired, crappy, insert any adjective that describes a general lack of energy. Since I'm not an idiot, I knew this lethargy was due to two things. 1) being grossly over weight (by about 120 pounds) and 2) a complete and utter lack of any kind of physical activity.
I knew I needed to do something, that's not the problem. It's the actual doing something, that's always been the problem. So over Christmas I gave myself a stern talking to, and on Sunday I weighed myself and put an actual, viable plan into action.
And the Universe responded by jumping up and down shouting, "Finally! About Time! What The Fuck Took You So Long?"
I know this was the Universe's reaction because today, I was invited to participate in Jay Chastain's Lose It All Challenge. You can see his video Challenge to Dave here, which I was co-opted in on.
I mean seriously, what are the odds that I'd be invited to participate in a weight loss challenge right now, at the first of the year, when I was already planning on losing weight and getting healthy anyway.
Exactly! It's a sign, I tell you, from the universe, telling me that I'm going to win this challenge.
So far the challenge is between me, the ever cynical and 'I hate-you-all" David Wright and the far too sexy for his boa Jay Chastain
The challenge is a bit vague right now. We weighed in today and had to publicly post our weight. No cheating allowed.
Mine was a horrifying and strangely impressive 301 pounds.
Jay's was an (insert your own adjective) 298 pounds
Dave hasn't reported in yet, I'll edit this when he does.
The challenge will last for three months and whoever loses the most weight will win.
There will be rewards involved
And punishments involved
And no, I don't know what we are getting rewarded for, or what the rewards will be.
As for the punishments. . . . . *bits my finger and looks worried*
Both rewards and punishments are still to be decided
My battle plan is brilliant in it's simplicity.
Go off all sugary foods, fried foods, processed foods, any food with artificial sweeteners
Cut back to 1500 calories a day, with a serving of fruit and veggies at every meal
Avoid the fatty meats like beef and pork
Exercise, exercise, exercise.
Every three hours I'll get up and do something physical for 30 minutes.
My plan is fluid and will change as I find things that work or don't work for me.
But for now, I am all charged up and ready to win!
There can be only ONE.
And that one, will be ME!
